Category: Life & I

“You are enough” – yes, but yoga is not

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“You are enough” – a phrase you come across again and again in the yoga scene. Surely you’ve heard it, too. But what does it mean? That you are already good as you are right now; that you don’t have to change anything about yourself to deserve love, success and all the good things in this world. An important reminder in today’s society, where advertising and social media always give us the impression that we need to be thinner, prettier, richer.

In the yoga world, on the other hand, we learn acceptance: we learn to respect our body and its limits and – almost shockingly – to love it, too. And with the thought of being enough comes the thought of having enough: Enough money, enough clothes, enough stuff. And then, quite possibly, the realization of doing enough also creeps in: enough working, enough being there for others.

The concept of “being enough” is very present in yoga and in the scene. Rightly so, in my opinion! The thing is: Yoga itself is not enough for me.

What do I mean by that?

Maybe you’re thinking “yoga isn’t enough for her? What the hell is she trying to say?”.

Or maybe it’s unusual for a yoga teacher to utter such a thing. Shouldn’t yoga be my life saver and life purpose? No. Absolutely not.

What I mean by that statement is that I don’t want to walk through the world with blinders on. I don’t want to be exclusive to the yoga scene, I want to try other forms of exercise, have other hobbies, I want to meet people who have nothing to do with yoga.

Here’s why:

I have a wide range of interests

I have always been very enthusiastic and curious. This combination ensures that I can warm up to many different topics and want to learn more about them once the spark is lit. From my perspective, there are so many incredibly great things in the world that deserve my attention that I would consider it a waste to dwell on just one of them. For me, it’s water sports and books, but I also love drawing, even though I’m not particularly good at it 🙂

It makes me a better teacher

If you’ve ever looked around this blog, you’ll notice that other categories pop up besides “Yoga”. The two categories, “Ayurveda“ and “Journaling“ are regularly incorporated into my teaching. Why? Because they complement yoga perfectly. Ayurveda is even the sister science of yoga, but nowhere near as mainstream as yoga. And journaling? This method beautifully supports introspection in yoga. Would it be enough for me to simply say in class, “It’s fall right now, so it’s Vata time,” or would it be enough to just research some journal prompts online and give them to my students? Not to me. I wanted to dive deeper into these topics, so I educated myself to really add value to my classes, for the people who participate.

And even the things that are completely foreign to yoga at first glance make me a better teacher. Through other sports like swimming, diving, hiking, I experience the benefits of yoga in completely new areas on the one hand, and on the other hand I broaden my horizons – which brings me to the next point.

I do not want to have tunnel vision

Neither as a teacher nor as a private person I want to be someone who is only concerned with the yoga world.

I don’t think it does anyone any good to only stay within a single scene and never dare to look outside the box.

The flexibility that our body acquires in yoga should also be present in the mind, and that happens best through diverse experiences and exchange with people – even with people who are not necessarily like-minded. Especially with people who have nothing at all to do with yoga, very interesting dialogues often develop. It’s a great feeling to be able to learn from each other and to inspire each other.

How about you? Are you a yoga enthusiast and if so, how much space does it occupy in your life? And if you are not (yet) a yoga enthusiast – what brought you here? And what is it that you are otherwise engaged in? Share what you’re passionate about in the comments!

A long way down – What I’ve learned from my yoga practice

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“Yoga isn’t about touching your toes. It’s about what you learn on your way down.”

This quote by Judith Hanson Lasater has become pretty famous in the last few years. It’s the mantra of every non-flexible newbie yogi:ni who feels like a brick stone between super-bendy classmates. Why has it gained such importance? Especially in the west, yoga is very much about the physical aspect of the practice. Oftentimes, people view it as a sport, as a means to stay fit.

While a consistent asana practice can indeed increase physical fitness and wellbeing, this is not the only aspect of yoga. Meditation, pranayama, mythology – many people nowadays feel uncomfortable with the more spiritual side of this ancient practice. But the “deeper” aspect isn’t only about deities, mantras, and rituals. It is very much about tools to make the everyday life easier.

Some years have passed since I was a newbie yogini who felt self-conscious in her first yoga class and there are some things I’ve learned since then. Here’s a little list.

No one cares if you’re sporty or not

I was never good at PE lessons at school. I didn’t like the type of sports we played and the way they were approached. This led me to believe that I’m “not sporty enough” for any kind of physical activity – even though I used to dance as a child. Despite my dance classes, I always lacked flexibility, which made me hesitant about trying yoga. I was still very self-conscious when I started teacher training, but then I realized: nobody cares. The people around me were way too busy trying to tune out everyone else and focusing on themselves. Beginners are very likely to peek at their peers out of the corner of their eye to see if their neighbor can do more than they can, if can touch their toes, etc. However, the more experience you gain, the less you care. That goes for flexibility as well as for more advanced poses like forearm stands. You can’t do it? No one will make fun of you.

Spirituality isn’t scary

If “spirituality” means Ouija boards and occult stuff for you, then I’ve got news – it’s not about that at all. It’s not even about religion. To me, it’s very much about philosophy. It’s about trying to make sense of stuff, finding meaning behind everyday issues and deeper understandings. There are inspirational mythological stories, beautiful rituals and valuable wisdom. Don’t be afraid to tap into the more spiritual side of your yoga practice! It will enrich your time on the mat and off the mat.

Never underestimate the connection between body and mind

What sounds like a yogi cliché is actually very true. I’ve found it fascinating to develop a closer connection to my body. It enabled me to listen to it better, to read its signs better. When you practice yoga, you learn how to “feel”: How does this movement feel? How does it feel when you’re trying a new pose? How does it feel when you reach your limits? How do you feel when you breathe in different ways? How do you feel before and after certain asanas, pranayamas or meditations? Instead of always complaining about how your body feels, you learn to observe and discover needs that your body is trying to convey. For me, the connection between body and mind is most visible when it comes to stretching. Creating space in your body also creates space in your mind. When my grandpa passed away and my mind felt narrow with grief, it was so much harder for me to do poses I could usually do with ease.

“Yoga friendships” are different

Small talk? Get the f*ck outta here! In friendships between yogis, it gets deep. No topic is off-limits. No matter if you want to talk about mantras, rituals, kundalini awakening experiences or Sanskrit – nobody will think you’re a weirdo! Yogis are not only interested in a lot of stuff that most people outside the yoga scene don’t even know about, but they are also very tolerant. Judging is not really a thing, even though, as everywhere, there are black sheep. Another thing that I find very beautiful is that almost everyone came to yoga because of a crisis, be it physical or emotional. Therefore, it is absolutely normal to talk about your trauma, your pain or your problems – no need to hide anything! The question “how are you?” is actually serious. Where people usually get uncomfortable when you reply with anything other than “fine, thanks”, Your yogi friends will listen to you as you tell them how you hit rock bottom and got back up on your feet, share advice and their own experience. The negative point about that? Conversations with non-yogis about the weather might seem very shallow once you’ve established a yogi group of friends.

Learning is actually fun

Ugh, good god, how I hated studying for school! It was just dreadful and seemed like a waste of time. The problem was that I found most of the stuff I had to learn absolutely pointless. The question “why am I learning this, what would I need this for?” could almost always not be answered in a satisfying way. I always had to force myself to study, I never had the feeling that I really wanted to learn more. This led to the belief that I’m lazy. This belief, on the other hand, made me hesitant about trying new stuff. As I thought I was lazy, I also thought that once I tried something new, I would lose interest quickly and not be consistent with it.

One time, when I came to yoga, I saw the poster on the front door, advertising the teacher training which would take two years. I remember thinking “who the hell is that consistent? Who is disciplined enough to dedicate every Wednesday to teacher training, for two freakin years?” I had those same doubts about being lazy and not disciplined enough when I finally signed up – I had waited so long with my final decision that I got the very last spot in the group – but it turned out, that I wasn’t so lazy when I actually cared about a topic. The stuff we went through at teacher training was fascinating to me: Indian mythology, yoga philosophy, anatomy and the physical aspects of the asanas, teaching them and making them accessible for special target groups. I found myself picking up the books in my spare time because I wanted to know more about all of that. And when it was time for the final exams, I studied super hard – because I wanted to. Realizing that I’m not lazy when something matters to me was a game changer. I was now confident that I could achieve anything I set my mind to, as long as I find some kind of sense in it.

Now it’s your turn – what have YOU learned from your yoga practice? Or, if you’re a newbie, what would you like to learn when you eventually start? Share in the comments!

Bye Bye 2022 – 5 mindful Rituals for the end of the year

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The phases when something ends and something else begins are always significant and hold new possibilities for us. On a small scale, there are days: If my day today was rather annoying, I have the opportunity to let go of it in the evening to finish and start anew the next day. It gets a bit bigger when preparing for a new week or even a new month. However, we do this rather rarely. Days, weeks and months usually just merge into one another. The turn of the year, on the other hand, is special – it’s like opening a whole new book, not just a new chapter or page. For many of us, the time “between the years,” from Christmas to New Year’s Eve, is a time of quiet and reflection. Maybe you’re in the mood to make this a mindful one? Here are my five tips for end-of-year rituals.

Reflect

Now is the time for retrospective. Take some time and do some soul-searching, reviewing the past year. There are several ways to do this:

  1. Journaling: use the “brain dump” technique, where you set an alarm clock for at least 15 minutes and just write away – resolving never to put down your pen during the set timeframe. If you can’t think of anything to write, just write “I don’t know what to write right now.” With this technique, you’ll tap into your subconscious and perhaps write about things you didn’t even know were on your mind anymore.
  2. Write a year in review: If you like things structured, you can write a year in review, gradually looking back at each month. Maybe you want to write about it prosaically, maybe just list the highlights of each month. It’s entirely up to you!
  3. Your year in pictures: If you’re more visual, scroll through your phone’s gallery and pick out your favorite photos for each month. Maybe you want to create a collage with them? Let your creativity run wild!

Let go

Surely not everything went well this year. Surely you have wishes for the new year (we will come to that in the next point). In order to fulfill these wishes, it is good to create space beforehand. Become aware of what you want to leave behind in the old year. Journaling is a great way to do this, but you can also meditate on it. Visualize how light and free you will feel without what you want to let go of. Maybe it’s just small things, or maybe you want to change a long-ingrained habit, change jobs, or even cut a toxic person out of your life. But let go in a loving way, without resentment. If you like, you can complement the meditation and visualization with affirmations such as “I allow myself to let go” or “I make room for something new”. A small ritual can also be very helpful, especially if you want to let go of something bigger. Write what you want to let go of on a piece of paper, hold it in a candle flame and let it burn in a fireproof bowl. Meanwhile, you can work with visualizations and affirmations. You can give the ashes to the wind afterwards.

Manifest

What do you wish for the new year? Visualize this as well! In meditation, imagine how you will feel and act when you have it. Are you creative and like to tinker? Then you’ll have a lot of fun creating a vision board. You can do it virtually or in the traditional way with scissors and glue. Either find a stack of old magazines from which you then cut out pictures that fit your vision and put them together to form a collage. Or work with a digital design tool that allows you to create a virtual collage. Even if you create a virtual collage, you should end up printing it out and hanging it in a place where you can easily see it often. This way you will always stay connected to your vision. If you enjoyed the letting go ritual with the note and the candle, you can also perform another small ritual for manifesting. Write your “order to the universe” on a piece of paper – formulate it as if your wish had already come true, for example “I live in my dream house”. Then bury the note in nature or in your garden. Think of it as a seed that will grow over time into what you wish for.

Incense

Whether you would like to use sticks or incense in a small bowl – especially in this phase of the year, the herbal aromas are a wonderful background for our meditation and yoga practice or simply provide a cozy mood in between. There are even specific incense rituals, for example to cleanse (sage) or to drive away negative energy (juniper). Feel free to experiment a little with the different scents and incense options – it’s fun!

Celebrate the “Rauhnaechte” (Twelfth Night)

The “Rauhnaechte” refer to the twelve nights between Christmas Eve and Epiphany. They are considered a particularly magical time and are ideal for rituals of all kinds. Each Rauhnacht has its own special features and meanings. Engaging with them can be a lot of fun and very inspiring.

How do YOU celebrate the end of the year? Do you have rituals that should not be missing in any year or does every year end look different for you?

I wish you a wonderful start into the new year!

Communication – my thoughts about a skill that seems to go out of style

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“You cannot not communicate” (Paul Watzlawick)

Well, yes, that’s totally true, but lately I can’t help but think that many people communicate very poorly. Open communication seems to be a skill that’s more and more forgotten.

Why do I feel this way?

  • The friends I can just call without scheduling a date beforehand are very rare
  • Speaking of calling: I know a lot of people who freak out at the very thought of talking to someone on the telephone in the first place, “appointment” or not
  • More and more people really think that “no answer is still an answer”
  • I sometimes get replies to emails, wondering if my counterpart even read my original mail
  • It baffles me when people just “react” to a message (like it’s possible on Instagram or WhatsApp) and then think that they’ve actually replied

When I was younger, it was perfectly normal to talk on the phone. All. The. Time. Yes, I had seen my friends at school, but we would still do hour-long conf-calls in the afternoons. When I was sad and needed someone to talk to or when I was excited and needed to share my joy, I could just grab the phone, call a friend, and discuss whatever it was that was on my mind. Of course, it also worked the other way round. Instead of panicking when my phone rang, I was happy that someone wanted to talk to me. Why did that go out of style? When did we get so used to writing everything that all of a sudden anxiety kicks in when the phone rings? I get it, we’re all very busy, so it can’t hurt to get a heads-up, asking if you’re free to talk. But guess what? If you’re not, you can just silence your phone and not answer.

But there are some people who have given up talking on the phone completely. I used to be friends with a girl since we were kids, it was my longest friendship, and it lasted even though we never lived in the same city (apart from the first four years of our lives), led totally different lives and had completely different interests. As we never lived in the same place and couldn’t spontaneously meet up, communication was crucial – and it worked, for a long time. Then, she gave up talking on the phone completely. She never explained what it was that made her feel so uncomfortable about it. All she wanted to do was write on WhatsApp or exchange voice messages. While I love to use these methods of communication as well, it just doesn’t work for me if we never see or actually talk to each other. Texting or sending monologues back and forth just doesn’t substitute real interaction for me. This becomes obvious when there’s a conflict. It’s just always better to hash such things out in person or, in our case, on the phone. She wasn’t open to that, so the friendship didn’t last.

What about “no answer is still an answer”?

I agree only to some extent. Yes, sometimes people ghost you because they just don’t care. Other times, though, people think “I’ll reply later”, then forget it, then feel too ashamed to get in touch because it took them so long. I have friends who are awful at replying, yet are super happy when I reach out. Or take myself as an example: When I have phases where I’m dealing with anxiety or panic attacks, replying to a message feels like an insurmountable task to me. I try to let people know “hey, I need to step back a little until I feel better again”, but sometimes even that isn’t possible for me, or I can’t even articulate what it is that I’m feeling that makes me unable to communicate. It would be horrible for me if my friends went “well, no answer is still an answer – she obviously doesn’t care anymore, so we won’t even try”.  

So, in my book, no answer is not a sufficient answer.

Silence can mean so much more than we think. Yes, it can mean “I don’t want anything to do with you, so leave me the eff alone”, but it can also mean: I’m scared that you’ll reject me, now that I haven’t been in touch for so long; I don’t know what to say, so right now it’s easier to say nothing at all; I feel overwhelmed with the mundane task of texting, but would be happy if you didn’t give up on me because of that. While I’m asking people to understand all these nuances of not responding, it should also be crystal clear that ghosting should not be an option. Like, at all. Given that there are so many reasons for people to stay silent, no answer is not even close to being a satisfactory answer. If you can – communicate! Even when you fear that the other person might not like what you have to say.

Concerning the last two points on my list above… I think those are the result of communication increasingly taking place in writing. It’s become so easy to just avoid questions you can’t or don’t want to answer or just post an emoji and call it a day. When you’re used to communicating like that, in turn, it’s clear why you feel uncomfortable talking on the phone or even in person.

Why is communication so important to me?

To me, it’s the base of every type of relationship, whether it’s a relationship with a partner, a colleague, a friend, a family member. If you don’t communicate, how will the other person know what’s going on? The problem is: When they don’t get an answer, they start assuming what the problem might be. Maybe they will think that you simply don’t want to talk to them anymore and stop trying. Maybe they will go through every possible scenario in their head, but they won’t come to a conclusion, because they simply can’t know unless you tell them. Misunderstandings are poison for every relationship, and the only way to solve them is by talking to each other.

How is your relationship with communication? Do you like long talks on the phone, or do you panic when it rings? Have you ever ghosted someone or been ghosted by someone? Why did you do that, or how did you deal with that? Share in the comments or shoot me a message – I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Fate and destiny – my thoughts lately

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I have always been a passionate proponent of the theory that there is such a thing as fate. I found the idea beautiful and somehow also comforting, that everything is preordained and thus everything that happens to us is part of a larger plan. After all, whenever something painful happened in my life, I could tell myself that it had to happen so that “my destiny would be fulfilled.” Recently, however, I’ve been struggling a lot with this issue. Here are my thoughts on it.

What is this all about?

The thesis is as follows: Everything that happens in your life happens FOR you, so that in the end you can live your destiny. If you long for something but don’t get it, then it’s only happening for protection or because you deserve better. It was simply “not meant for you”. But if something is “meant for you”, then you don’t have to struggle for it, you don’t have to force it – it will come to you or it will happen naturally. And most importantly, it will also feel easy and right!

Why I’ve been all for it so far

I didn’t get a job? Well, that was probably meant to be, there’s probably a better one out there waiting for me. My weekend trip falls through because of a train strike? Well, since everything happens for a reason, maybe it could be protection and I would have sprained my ankle on the planned hike? Communication with a good friend is slow and I always have to make the first move? Well, since the friendship no longer feels easy and natural, I should probably end it.

You can guess where I’m going with this: I loved that this theory offers a positive explanation for every negative experience. It’s comforting and uplifting. For many years, this thinking gave me strength and peace. Strength because I had the assurance that every bad event happened for my own good. Peace because I had the assurance that what was meant for me would find me and I couldn’t miss it. And it was coherent for me – I could actually take something positive out of everything negative that happened to me at some point. Sometimes it took years before I could see a deeper meaning behind it, but it happened. When you’re at a point in life where you’re totally happy, and you look back and realize how the cogs interlocked so that you could get there, it can be a wonderful feeling.

What has changed for me?

The past few months have not been easy for me. I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for the first time in almost six years and was completely overwhelmed by it. That alone is incredibly debilitating, but when heartbreak is added to the mix, it gets really uncomfortable. I felt absolutely miserable. Actively, I didn’t really think about whether all of this actually had to happen for me to get to a certain point. But I noticed something inside me bristling when I scrolled past posts on Instagram like “What’s meant for you will find you” or “If it’s meant for you, you don’t have to fight for it.” Unlike usual, these sayings triggered more anger in me. And I’m very sure I know why. Anyone who has ever had a panic attack will know how terribly helpless you feel. There’s nothing you can do except try to “breathe through it.” One feels completely at the mercy of others; it is a complete loss of control. If I am then made to believe that I only get what is meant for me anyway, I am also deprived of control in every other area of my life. So, I have no control at all over what I get, no matter how hard I work for it? And how terribly presumptuous is it for anyone or anything to determine what is meant for me? Thank you, I’m sure it’s well intentioned, but I would like to please decide for myself how my life goes, and yes, I would also like to make mistakes and learn from them! I want to feel like I can take control of my life through motivation, passion, and work, and not think “hmm, maybe it’s not meant for me, so maybe I’m just putting too much time and energy into it?” with every project.

Of course, it’s much easier and more comfortable to sit back and say to yourself “on Instagram they said that what’s meant for me will find me”. By now, though, I’m more afraid of losing control than I am of effort. From my point of view, self-determination is worth some effort. And if I immediately threw in the towel at anything that didn’t feel “easy” or “natural,” where would I be? Let’s take the example of the difficult friendship from earlier: Due to my mental state, I’ve been the difficult friend lately, not getting back to many people. Not out of laziness, but because I simply lacked the energy. I would find it terrible if my loved ones would then say “since this friendship doesn’t feel easy right now, it’s probably not meant to be, so I’m withdrawing”.

Speaking of friendship, of course relationships with others are something else entirely when it comes to this topic. After all, here it’s not just about what I want, but also about what the other person wants with whom I would like to maintain a friendship or build a relationship. But if both of them want it, then it will work out – and I’m absolutely sure of that. Even if the circumstances are adverse, or maybe even just then. I am incredibly sensitive and empathetic, so I literally feel for them when my partner or a friend shares problems with me. I know that people can act difficult during a crisis, sometimes even verbally “lashing out” and becoming hurtful. What I’m saying is by no means should you put up with everything someone might throw at you. What I am saying is that I would never give up on people because I assume the connection is not “meant to be” just because the road is rocky right now.

And now?

I definitely don’t rule out that at some point I will face the issue again in a more conciliatory way or even draw comfort from the certainty that something just wasn’t meant to be and something better is waiting for me as a substitute (anyway – who decides what is “better”?). 

But what I exclude in any case: That I cut people out of my life because the interaction with them is “difficult” at the moment or that I give up heart’s desires because obstacles are put in my way before I can achieve them.

Mental health – 5 ways yoga can help

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Yoga supports health, both physical and mental – we’ve heard that many times. With the exercises, we can ease the back pain that plagues us after a long day at the office, but also put the mental pain that gnaws at us after a breakup, for example, a little in its place. Practiced regularly, it can have long-term positive effects on our psyche. But what is it that helps our mental health exactly? Here are my personal top five.

1. More mindfulness

In yoga, you’re always encouraged to feel inside yourself: how does this movement feel in certain parts of the body? How does the leg we just stretched feel in contrast to the leg we haven’t stretched yet? Where can you notice your breathing particularly well? In short, your attention goes inward, not outward. A stark contrast to the world outside the yoga studio, where we are constantly inundated with stimuli of all kinds. On your mat, however, you are invited to focus entirely on yourself and how something feels to you or what thoughts creep into your mind. After practicing for a while, you will notice how this habit spreads to your daily life. You’ll become more receptive to your body’s signals, you’ll notice sooner when your mood changes, you’ll take on the role of observer more often. More mindfulness also means being more in the moment, more with yourself and not so “defenseless” against external influences or worries about events in the past or future.

2. More relaxation/parasympathetic nervous system

What should not be missing at the end of any yoga class is deep relaxation. Our sympathetic nervous system saves us when we have to run away from a saber-toothed tiger, which nowadays also sometimes appears in the form of an unpleasant colleague or a frenemy. The parasympathetic nervous system, on the other hand, helps us to regenerate. In today’s hectic times, the sympathetic nervous system often dominates, as we are constantly in a “guarded” position. Thus, many of us find it difficult to really shut down and come to rest. In a pleasant, extended deep relaxation we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, additionally stress hormones are reduced and happiness hormones are released. But it’s not only the final relaxation after a yoga class that helps: an enjoyable yin yoga session can also contribute to greater relaxation and well-being.

3. A sense of belonging through synchronized breathing and movement in the group

Of course, it helps your mental health enormously if you practice alone at home. Especially if you are suffering acutely from anxiety or depression, it can be a sheer overwhelming task to go outside, come to the yoga studio and practice with strangers – believe me, I know exactly what I’m talking about. In those cases, it’s great that you can just fire up YouTube and get on the mat on your own. But if you’re doing well at the moment and would just like to take precautions, then the effect of a class on the spot is not to be underestimated. Practicing yoga together creates a very special energy in the room that can have a positive effect on your well-being. The comforting feeling of being with like-minded people spreads. The mindful and synchronized breathing and movement creates a sense of belonging all by itself – even if you’ve never seen the other participants in the class before.

4. Learning to accept/adapt

They say anyone can do yoga – as long as you can breathe. And it’s true! The seniors and senior women I get to teach prove it to me every week. Despite poor eyesight, back problems and other ailments of old age, they come to my classes enthusiastically time and time again. The secret? Adapt the exercises accordingly. You can do that too! Over time, you will learn how to adapt asanas to your needs and how to use aids such as blocks and straps to do so. This is not just about permanent physical limitations, but also about temporary tweaks like minor injuries. Even if you don’t feel up to it, you can always practice yoga if you adapt accordingly – a lesson that is incredibly valuable off the mat as well. When we accept what is right now, we save valuable energy. When we adapt accordingly, recalculating the route so to speak, we take our destiny back into our own hands – a great feeling!   

5. More concentration

What often comes hand in hand with mindfulness, is concentration. In yoga, we learn to focus on ourselves and our needs – a skill that is often lost when mental health is not up to par. If we have more concentration in everyday life, this also benefits us at work and in everyday tasks. We can devote ourselves fully to a task and complete it conscientiously and neatly, instead of being mentally preoccupied with the next to-do item while carrying it out and thus acting carelessly. The resulting sense of achievement has a positive impact on our self-esteem – we feel successful, capable, productive. And whose mood wouldn’t that lift?

My own experience

After a long time of not liking yoga, I tried it again when I was in the midst of a crisis that involved almost every area of my life: job, place of residence, circle of friends, love life. When all these aspects are in shambles, it’s only natural to keep thinking about what to do next. For me, it even felt like I had to constantly worry about it, like it was a “waste of time” to focus my attention on anything else, since it wouldn’t get me out of the situation. To get “permission” to switch off from a yoga teacher, saying “This class belongs entirely to you and your well-being” was incredibly relieving for me. When I came out of the classes, I noticed how I could think a little more clearly – simply because I had allowed the mental merry-go-round to take a break. Today, I also like to start my own classes with these words.

Yoga is not only good for me when I’m brooding, but also when I’m suffering from anxiety or panic. Admittedly, I often have to force myself to hit the mat when I’m in this state, but I have never regretted it afterwards. When the heart and thoughts are racing, moving in tune with my breath brings me down every time. If I go on the mat in a bad or even depressed mood, a few tears may flow while practicing – but that is also allowed! Especially when we are not feeling well, we often hold tensions in our bodies that are released through movement. Getting emotional is quite natural and can also be healing.

Have you had any experiences with the effects of yoga on the psyche? Feel free to share them in the comments!

Fear, Excitement, Bliss – my relationship to traveling

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Overlooking La Graciosa from its bigger sister Lanzarote

It has always been the dilemma of my life: I’m scared of pretty much everything, but I also want to do pretty much everything.

Traveling is no exception. I’ve always loved traveling. The very first vacations with my parents when I was a child, getting up early, driving a few hours before taking a picnic lunch break, staying at cute little B&Bs, exploring and relaxing. My first journey alone to a language school in England when I was sixteen. Later, trips with friends or alone to sailing trips or yoga retreats. My backpacker tour through Southeast Asia. And, of course, my longer stays abroad, like internships or a semester in the states. Every time I packed my stuff and hopped on a plane, I would come back with amazing memories, a tan, new acquaintances that sometimes even developed into friendships, and a serious boost for my self-esteem.

Why the self-esteem boost, you might ask?

Well, it’s because of the previously mentioned fear of everything. You see, I’m not the type who books a trip, bathes in pleasant anticipation, and hits the airport giddy with excitement. No matter how many times I’ve travelled before, the day before a new trip is always hell. The well-known anxiety, that I’ve never been able to shake off, kicks in and makes questions shoot through my head: Do you have everything? Did you forget to pack something important? Don’t you think you’ve packed too much? Are you sure your passport is still valid? What if you don’t meet any cool people to get along with?

Sailing from Tenerife to La Gomera, 2015
Sailing from Sardinia to Corsica, 2017

Due to the pandemic, I hadn’t taken a trip abroad in the past two years. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I just felt like it was the right thing to do, with the virus spreading all over the world. I didn’t want to contribute to its further spreading, so I decided to only go on short trips within Germany. And, honestly, it was absolutely fine. You spend so little time discovering your home. Now, that I’m back from my first trip abroad after those two years, I couldn’t help but ponder my relationship to traveling and how it has changed over the years.

From “Little Miss Stay-At-Home” to “Little Miss Itchy Feet”

Believe it or not, but when I was a child, I didn’t even like visiting friends at their houses. I would start crying when my parents suggested that I might visit my friends for a change instead of having them over all the time. I think I was seven or eight when I finally came out of my shell a little more. So, you can probably imagine my parents’ surprise when I caught the travel fever and ended up discovering Southeast Asia with a backpack. Where did that development come from? I honestly don’t know. I just know that at some point I really enjoyed the whole experience, from the planning process over the journey, meeting new people, tasting new food, seeing new landscapes, up to getting back and making the trip linger by looking at the pictures I took.

Taman Ujung, Bali, 2016

Tourist? Traveler? Local?

Back in the day, I used to differentiate strictly between tourists and travelers. Tourists were people who booked an all-inclusive offer and never left their hotel, lounging around by the pool all day. Travelers were people who really wanted to discover the country they went to. When I did my first internship in a Lanzarote hotel, I felt like I didn’t belong to either of these categories. I felt like a local. I lived in the staff rooms of the hotel I interned at, put on my uniform, and went to work every day, ran errands like I did at home, dated a local, spoke Spanish every day. I also went on excursions with my newfound friends, discovering the island, but the overall feel was so different from being on vacation. I became addicted. It was no longer enough for me to be a tourist or even a traveler – I wanted to be a local wherever I went. After my first internship abroad, my semester abroad followed; then, a second internship after I was done with university; then, a stint in Costa Rica to teach English. Of course, I still went on vacations in between, but those didn’t make my feet any less itchy.

In the staff wing of the hotel I interned at in Lanzarote, 2008
At the gates of San José State University, where I spent my semester abroad, 2009

Always on the go

It was a time where I had my next trip constantly planned or at least on my mind. It was a beautiful time, being in a constant state of anticipation and having the feeling of seeing more of the world, but it was also a little exhausting. Back then, I overused the phrase “We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us”. Looking back, however, I can see that I was indeed trying to escape my life at that point – even for a little while. I was restless. I loved the city I lived in fiercely and had a great group of friends, but I was lacking inner peace and calmness. Unconsciously, I looked for these things by exploring foreign countries.

Ziplining in Costa Rica, 2016

Calming down

I became calmer some years ago. Suddenly, I discovered that going on a vacation was totally sufficient for me. Hearing people talk about work and travel programs, or similar stuff no longer sounded that appealing to me. Also, I came to rethink the clichés I had about people, for example: someone who travels with a suitcase and stays in a nice hotel isn’t a “real” traveler. How did I even get the idea that the way you’re transporting your stuff defines your way of travelling?! I no longer look down on people with suitcases or up to people with shabby backpacks. I know for a fact that you can genuinely discover the country while staying in a fancy hotel. What’s wrong with that? I used to listen to stories about horror hostels like the people telling them were wearing a badge of honor. What for? It’s the most precious time of the year, why shouldn’t you treat yourself to a nice abode, and, while we’re at it, to some lazy hours by the pool?

Blue Hour at the beach in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica

So, what has changed over the past years? Me, I guess. Has yoga with its “don’t search on the outside for something you can only find inside of you”-philosophy played a part in that change? Most likely.

I no longer define myself by where I go or how I travel or what my luggage looks like.

When I planned my last trip to Ibiza with a friend, I didn’t think “ugh, Ibiza, that’s Spain, and I’ve already been to Spain – I don’t even get to tick off a new country on my list, nor do I get a stamp in my passport” like I would have done a few years ago. I just thought about the relaxation we were going to get in, the hikes we were going to take, the good time we were going to have.

Traveling just for the fun of it, not to prove anything, is a liberating feeling I’m planning to keep and cultivate.

And maybe, just maybe… the anxiety beforehand will also fade away eventually 😊

Friend or foe?

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Mindfulness = Madness?

Mindfulness is a word that’s almost overused nowadays. Everyone is talking about it as THE thing for a happy life: Be more mindful, forget your worries, become serene, relaxed, and happy. There are coaches and classes for more mindfulness, and it is often named as solution when someone complains about being stressed out or depressed.  

So what is it that makes mindfulness so special?

This practice is supposed to make you more aware of the present moment. When taking a walk, for example, it means you’re taking in your surroundings, listening to your steps on the ground, feeling the wind on your skin, instead of walking while thinking about that work project you’re dreading and then coming home without having a clue where you’ve just been. Its goal is to make you more observant, which helps you to get to know you better. 

But! Isn’t it exhausting to be even more aware of everything?

As an overthinker, I was totally intrigued when I heard about that tool named mindfulness that could possibly help me stop the thoughts spinning around in my head. When I learned more about it, however, I wondered: With my tendency to overthink and analyze everything, I am already pretty closely in touch with my emotions and my behavioral patterns. Is it really necessary to put even more focus on that?

This question arose when I observed myself in my daily life. Sometimes I would overreact, then realize that I just overreacted and get mad at myself for it. “Ugh, stupid me, why couldn’t I just keep calm?” Then, I would realize that I just judged myself and I would get mad again. So, I started to doubt if all that mindfulness stuff is really that great for me if it leads to me observing myself even more and then beating myself up for behaviors I found “wrong”.  

Here’s the key: No judgement!

Mindfulness is not about overanalyzing everything. It is not even about analyzing in the first place. It is about being present in the current moment, about noticing what’s going on. There is a huge difference between noticing and judging, believe me! 

“But of course, I am present in the current moment, where else would I be?”

Does that sound familiar? Well, the thing is, most of us are somewhere else entirely when we are on our way to work, when we are on a train or shopping for groceries. Usually, we are somewhere in the future or in the past. Very often, we reminisce about stuff that has happened to us before, something we can’t get over. Our brain tends to remind us of embarrassing events, that one time we failed, or a painful loss. On the other hand, it creates different scenarios for the future: What horrible things could happen if you don’t do this or that now, what if you made a wrong decision or what would happen if you lost a certain person.

Both sides, being caught in the past and in the future, have something in common: it makes you passive. The past is gone, the future is not here yet – there is nothing you can do about it. Of course, it is something different if you notice that you have made a certain mistake in the past so that you can avoid it now. Or if you worry what would happen to your family if something happened to you, so you decide to get a life insurance. But do you see the difference? In both scenarios you are active. You are actively doing something to avoid a mistake or to take care of your family. Even realizing that you’re about to make a mistake, though, requires a certain amount of mindfulness. You won’t notice when you’re completely stuck in a different time. If you learn from your past, that’s great – that’s what it’s for! If you take action to reach something you wish to attain in the future, that’s great – that’s called goal setting! Both learning and setting goals take place in the present. Just losing yourself in memories or daydreams about the future doesn’t. 

So why is mindfulness good?

To stay with our previous example for a moment, let’s start with the fact that it makes you active. The present moment is the only time where you can do something, the only time where you can make a difference. You will stay passive and not achieve anything if you let your mind wander in different times.

Letting your mind wander while your body is doing something entirely different (remember the example with the walk from earlier?) is stressful for your whole system. When you are actually doing what you are doing, without being distracted by thoughts, memories, or plans, you don’t need that much energy. When you practice mindfulness regularly, you can develop a higher resistance towards stress and more concentration.

With the higher concentration and stress resistance, there also comes higher productivity and increased happiness. Mindfulness is a great counterpart to our fast-paced life, where a lot of people are mentally already in their next meeting while having lunch.  

3 quick tipps to develop more mindfulness

Experience your food in a new way: No hasty wolfing down with your phone in your hand! Take the food into your mouth and before chewing, just feel: the temperature, the texture, the taste. Then, start chewing thoroughly, paying attention to how that feels and how the temperature and the texture change during the process. When you have swallowed your food, notice how you feel now.

Write down your highlights: Make it a habit to write down three great things about your day every evening. This way, you’ll train yourself and your brain to pay attention to awesome moments. This increases your mindfulness and also your happiness.

The classic: Meditation! If you can’t see yourself taking your mindfulness practice to your everyday life yet, just start on a cushion. Just five minutes a day are enough for a start, however, you should practice regularly. It is better to meditate for a short time every day than for a whole hour once a week. There are several types of meditation. Try some different styles and find out what works for you. You don’t have to stick with one style – if you feel like it, switch it up! By regularly training your mind to realize when you’re drifting away and then coming back to the present, you will soon find yourself more mindful in everyday situations as well.

How is your relationship with mindfulness? Are you already close friends or rather awkward around each other? Let me know if you already practice mindfulness and how you feel about it!

Selfcare – a necessity, not a luxury

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What’s your relationship with selfcare? Do you find it easy to be kind to yourself or do you feel selfish whenever you carve out some me-time? Right now, the world is facing pretty dark times: the pandemic, climate change and, most recently, the war in Ukraine. Even though you may not directly be affected – you haven’t lost a dear person to Covid, climate change might seem far away, and the war is in a different country – it’s possible that there’s a lot on your mind. You might feel tired of the pandemic restrictions and unsure about what to do about the other things that are going on in the world, leaving you feeling helpless. That’s natural! Even unconsciously, you might be worried or scared about the current situation. This is why taking care of yourself is so essential.

You might have heard it before: You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Do you feel guilty for taking care of yourself while other people are suffering? I get that. I’ve had that feeling too, trust me! It felt so mundane to stick to my morning routine, my skincare rituals and stuff like that. But the truth is: Nobody who has just lost their home, or a beloved person will feel better just because you skipped the things that make you feel better. You don’t help anyone by neglecting yourself. You help by donating, by demonstrating, by volunteering. And guess what? You won’t have energy or motivation for any of these things if you don’t pay attention to your own wellbeing. So, this is a plea for selfcare and a little directory about how to do it.

General selfcare advice for difficult times

You are what you consume

That’s not only true for the food you eat. While it is important that you pay attention to what you eat, it is just as important to take a look at your media intake. Limit your media consumption to fixed timeframes throughout the day, and only watch or read news from trustworthy sources. Try not to spend too much time in the comment section on social media.

Acknowledge your feelings

No matter if you’re feeling scared, anxious, nervous, sad, confused – don’t suppress it. Allow yourself to feel the way you’re feeling and talk about it if it helps you.

Do what you can

If you feel like you want to help, inform yourself about what you could do right now, where you are, with what you have. Don’t think that you have to do huge things – every little step counts.

Find balance with yoga, Ayurveda and journaling

Yoga

Practice grounding slow flows and balancing positions. Make sure to include meditation in your practice and listen to your body even more than you usually do. Pay attention to how the poses make you feel, physically and mentally. Practice the Nadi Shodhana breathing technique to calm anxiety.

Ayurveda

Eat warm, nourishing comfort food like soups and stews. Take a walk in nature – ideally barefoot. Green is a healing color. Diffuse calming essential oils like lavender. The effect of scents on our nervous system shouldn’t be underestimated!

Journaling

Use therapeutic writing to make sense of the mess in your head. Here are some journal prompts that you could use:
How am I feeling right now? Can I even identify the feeling?
How does it feel in my body?
What would make me feel better right now?

Give yourself permission to treat yourself like someone you love. Practicing selfcare doesn’t mean ignoring what’s going on. It means making sure that you’re in good condition to get through the crisis and being able to help.

Mindfulness on the water

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The places you can only get to by being at sea

My favorite quote is “There are places you can only get to by sea. And there are places you can only get to by being at sea” by Jesse Martin. Jesse Martin is a circumnavigator who once broke the world record for being the youngest person to sail around the world unassisted.

I love that quote so much because I have been to those places that you can only get to by being at sea, and they were breathtakingly beautiful. As I’m writing about yoga and mindfulness on this blog, you probably already know that I’m not talking about pretty beaches here. Okay, well, not only 😊

A part of me always knew about these places, sensed that they were out there, waiting to be discovered.

The fascination of sailing

One of my earliest childhood memories is that I’ve always envied people with boats when I was on vacation with my parents. Whenever we went somewhere close to the water, we would usually take a stroll along the boardwalk after dinner. Hand in hand with my Mom or Dad, I would marvel at the marinas: the atmosphere is so special, it cannot be compared to anything else. Beautiful boats, gently swaying in the breeze, candlelight, quiet conversations and laughter. Looking at the people sitting in the cockpits of their boats, enjoying a tasty meal and a bottle of wine, chatting about the day, I wished to be one of them. I wanted to be a part of this world, which seemed so peaceful, yet had that smell of adventure at the same time.

My first week on a sailboat

As I grew older, that wish did not fade away. Instead, it stayed with me the whole time and became even bigger. I don’t know why it took me so long, but I was 25 when I finally spent a whole week on a sailboat – and I loved it! A lot of people looked at me in shock when I told them that I like to spend the most precious time of the year on a small boat, in a confined place with eight other people I had never even met before. A lot of questions were asked: What if you guys don’t get along? What if you get seasick? Do you really want to cook and wash dishes during your holidays? Do you really think you can go a week without a proper bathroom and a hot shower? What if there is a storm? And so on and so on…

Good questions, I must admit. Well, the first question was my main concern as well. But nobody of my friends or family members is keen on spending that much time on the water (in case you didn’t notice reading all their questions), so a group travel was the perfect option for me. As almost everyone there was traveling alone, there were no groups that excluded others. If you are a person who likes to spend a week with strangers on the ocean, you basically have to be open-minded and friendly I guess.

How does sailing and spending time on the water enhance mindfulness?

That first sailing trip wasn’t my last one. Not even six months later, the second one followed, and the third one was a sure thing after that. The fourth one took a little longer to take place, but it was this vacay where I felt the magic of sailing the most. So, what’s the magic of sailing in my opinion? And what about those awesome places I got taken to?

Calmness

Well, for me it is the whole atmosphere and the feeling that goes hand in hand with it. I can be as stressed as a human being can be, but as soon as I set foot on a boat, I feel better. This is something I can’t really explain, but maybe it has something to do with the close bond to nature that I never felt during other vacations. There is barely any infrastructure, you have no cell service, no internet (hooray!). You don’t sleep in hotels (which are great as well, don’t get me wrong), but in lonely coves. In order to save the freshwater stock, you wash the dishes – and yourself! – in the ocean before quickly rinsing to wash off the salt. It’s kind of “back to the roots”.  

Sincere connections

You also connect to people in a different way. As there are no distractions besides reading or spending time in the water, you get into deep conversations. Nobody is looking at their phones, checking their social media or taking selfies all the time. You spend the day snorkeling, sailing, doing stuff on board, preparing meals, chatting to each other. When the evening comes, you have soaked up a ton of sun, you are positively exhausted from being outside all day, and the crew gets together in the cockpit for a self-made dinner and some drinks. The boat is on anchor, swaying softly. There is no one else around. The sky above you is full of stars. The topics you talk about are different than at home: What did we do and see today? How did it make us feel? Before you know it, the conversations get deeper. It’s probably the atmosphere that makes you think you have fallen off the edge of the world, so you can share pretty much everything. I’m not saying there were never crazy nights on board, where we partied, had the music louder than I like to admit, drank shots and danced and laughed. But even parties on board are different. The giddy atmosphere never came from a place of “my job is sucking the life out of me, so I’m going to drink and dance tonight to forget about it”. No. It came from a place of pure happiness, of amazement that we had come this far just with a little sailboat, with the help of the elements and with good old teamwork.

In touch with the elements

Speaking of the elements – you are really in touch with them when you’re at sea, you work with them, not against them, and they basically dictate how your vacation goes. Every evening, you check: What will the weather be like tomorrow? Based on that, where could we go? What do we want to see, what do we want to experience? There is something about going with the flow, about planning the route based on the wind and the weather, that is so comforting. It’s a harsh contrast about everyday life, where you just have to be somewhere and it’s your problem how you get there, even if it’s strenuous and feels wrong. On a sailboat, you surrender to the circumstances, plan accordingly and change your plans accordingly if necessary. 

Present in every moment

As you experience the stillness of the nights and early mornings at sea, the teamwork with the weather and the elements, you feel yourself getting more mindful of your surroundings. When was the last time you paid attention to people sitting next to you at the bus stop or to the landscape passing by when you were on the bus? On a sailboat, stuff like that is natural. You know who is with you and who can help you with what. Maybe there is someone who can cook awesome meals with leftovers in the small pantry under deck, another one is very strong and great at helping with the anchor, someone else isn’t afraid of heights and can climb up the rod to untangle sails if necessary. You also know what is around you: Islands, reefs, marinas. But most importantly, you feel more: That slight change of wind. That the waves just got a little higher. The flapping of the sails. The movement of the boat.

Maybe it’s the gentle motion of the sea. Maybe it’s discovering spectacular places you wouldn’t be able to see otherwise. Maybe it’s how strangers turn to friends during awesome evenings on deck. Maybe it’s being in tune with nature and the elements. Probably it’s the combination of all those things that make the places you can only get to by being at sea so magical.

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